Worried about government mind
control and/or mind reading?
Our tinfoil hat is your guaranteed solution. It will shield you from government control, eliminating your concerns.
- One size fits all. Expands or contracts to your specifications.
- Each hat is custom made...yours is unique
- Assembly required.
- Shipped in flattened state, must be opened to fit.
- Available in silver only.
- Safe, no sharp edges.
- Can be molded to your own custom design, limited only by your imagination.
NOTE #1: We call this a “tinfoil hat” because that’s the common term for this protective device. It’s actually made of aluminum foil, yet every bit as effective.
NOTE #2: There is a false rumor that wearing a tinfoil hat serves only to improve reception of government radio-wave thought-control signals. This is an unsubstantiated myth designed to undermine the effectiveness of our product. Our guarantee stands.
WARNING: Our tinfoil hat WILL NOT protect you from the truth. It is also ineffective against willful ignorance, tactical stupidity, cognitive bias, and/or pre-existing brainwashing.
* Please don’t be outraged and upset that we would try to sell such a worthless product for such an obscene price without first considering the possibility that this is just a joke.